"Iamfacingforeclosure.com is dead. Casey Serin has pulled the plug."
Hi All,
I fully intended™ to give you advanced warning of what I was up too™ but I had to™ many sweet™ deals in the works.
I will soon™ post a detailed account of what transpired leading up to the shutdown. Yes, as some of you will point out G™ is a bit pissed, and G's sister™ hasn't spoken too™ me since mid-March. I almost had to sleep in the Jetta™, but by shutting down the blog, I was able to negotiate sleeping in the shower stall for awhile™.
I am working with my network of highly trained professionals™ to get this going again (we are meeting at Macaroni Grill™ tonight to strategize), and I hope to be falling forward too™ even bigger things.
In the meantime, I am glad I drained my paypal account this morning and closed it permanently. I will still be looking for that $5,000 a month in sweet™ passive income™. It is certainly getting close.
You can still email me at serin.us.
Bye!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Friday, May 25, 2007
Debt Settlement… Settle Debt From Corporation?
Debt Settlement… Settle Debt From Corporation?
Hi Guys!
Gotta get this in before 4:59 today. I’m on the bubbe and I’m afraid that “those we can not speak of”™ might ake me pull the plug tonight. “Those we can not speak of”™’s sister™ pretty much hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks. I wonder if I have done something to irritate “those we can not speak of”™’s sister? Maybe I should start a poll™ for insight.
@82, SpaceMonkey: You are right, I should have opened that letter a little sooner. I didn’t finish opening alot™ of my December and January mail™ until last week. In order to reduce the amount of work, I usually just looked at the postage. If it was bulk or reduced rate I figured “why bother?” If they won’t pay first class to contact me I’ll wait until they will.
Even that got burensome. So I just threw the rest of it away. I know that it presents a security risk, but who would wnat to steal my identity? Maybe it would improve my credit score?
Anyway, it was an accident thatthe settlement offer wouldn’t fit. I had already filled 11 garbage cans and it simply wouldn’t go in (I hope the neighbors of “those we can not speak of”™’s sister wont be to™ upset I used up all of they’re™ garbage can space. I really had to empty my ooffice™ so I could see if I still have my blue ball™. I sort of forgot about it.
Anyway, I decided to settle the amount in the letter. But I accidently used a check from my Wells Fargo account that they closed months ago.
Do you think they will notice?
I’ll put up a poll™.
OK, gotta go and get crackin on the day ahead. I am blessed™.
Hi Guys!
Gotta get this in before 4:59 today. I’m on the bubbe and I’m afraid that “those we can not speak of”™ might ake me pull the plug tonight. “Those we can not speak of”™’s sister™ pretty much hasn’t spoken to me for two weeks. I wonder if I have done something to irritate “those we can not speak of”™’s sister? Maybe I should start a poll™ for insight.
@82, SpaceMonkey: You are right, I should have opened that letter a little sooner. I didn’t finish opening alot™ of my December and January mail™ until last week. In order to reduce the amount of work, I usually just looked at the postage. If it was bulk or reduced rate I figured “why bother?” If they won’t pay first class to contact me I’ll wait until they will.
Even that got burensome. So I just threw the rest of it away. I know that it presents a security risk, but who would wnat to steal my identity? Maybe it would improve my credit score?
Anyway, it was an accident thatthe settlement offer wouldn’t fit. I had already filled 11 garbage cans and it simply wouldn’t go in (I hope the neighbors of “those we can not speak of”™’s sister wont be to™ upset I used up all of they’re™ garbage can space. I really had to empty my ooffice™ so I could see if I still have my blue ball™. I sort of forgot about it.
Anyway, I decided to settle the amount in the letter. But I accidently used a check from my Wells Fargo account that they closed months ago.
Do you think they will notice?
I’ll put up a poll™.
OK, gotta go and get crackin on the day ahead. I am blessed™.
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
All You Have to Do Is Ask. Sweet!
Look,
I already told you that bugs are yucky™.
Do gummi worms count?™ (for $5?).
I already told you that bugs are yucky™.
Do gummi worms count?™ (for $5?).
Saturday, May 19, 2007
$1,000/week or Kill Blog and Get a Job! Oh Crap!!
Damn,
I deleted it by accident.
What I was trying to tell you is that when I suddenly realized I might loose™ the shinyest of my objects™, G™, I realized that drastic times call for me to do something.
I just wish I had read my agreement beofre signing it. I know you haters will try to manipulate my words, but I was actualy concentrating on my penmanship™ and trying to figure out a way to meak (er, earn™) $17.58 per hour. That clouded my thinking™ and I didn’t pay attention™ before signing it. I intend™ to go back and read it soon.
I was thinking about one of those jobs driving those way cool really big trucks on th ehighway. Someone said they pay like $0.42 per mile, so to make (earn™, oops!) $1,000 a week, I’d have to drive like 2,381 miles aweek™. That’s loke from here to Galveston TX and back. Hmm. Frito Lay is headquartered their™. Maybe, just maybe……
I also forgot to talk to G™ about taxes. I wonder how much she understands about them? The agreement she had me sign said $1,000 in cash on th etable every Friday.How did she corner me into signing a document without reading it™? She must have near wizard-like powers.
Anyway, I signed it and it is done. I have to focus only on clean pennies™ and doing honest work. No more, er, no, uh, well, argggghhh! You know. No more!
I would really like to not leave the enjoyment I find in thi sblog. Sure you haters™ sometimes get me down, but my new vitamin regiment™ has done wonders for me. I have found that a proprietary combination of oxcetyl-beta thorazidinoide, keratonium polyglycolate, fengreekic ascerbate and hydroxy acid works wonders. You should try it.
Gotta go and get ready for the big big teleconference. I need to put on my new shirt and brush my teeth.
---
PS,
Click on link number 8 (above) in the “Sweet Links™” section. These guys are great and I want to help them any way I can.
---
Just for the record. I don’t like bugs™ they’re icky.
In fact I won’t eat anything with an exoskelleton.
Except shrimp, and lobster and crab and oysters (OK, stretching the exoskelleton thingy™ a bit).
I deleted it by accident.
What I was trying to tell you is that when I suddenly realized I might loose™ the shinyest of my objects™, G™, I realized that drastic times call for me to do something.
I just wish I had read my agreement beofre signing it. I know you haters will try to manipulate my words, but I was actualy concentrating on my penmanship™ and trying to figure out a way to meak (er, earn™) $17.58 per hour. That clouded my thinking™ and I didn’t pay attention™ before signing it. I intend™ to go back and read it soon.
I was thinking about one of those jobs driving those way cool really big trucks on th ehighway. Someone said they pay like $0.42 per mile, so to make (earn™, oops!) $1,000 a week, I’d have to drive like 2,381 miles aweek™. That’s loke from here to Galveston TX and back. Hmm. Frito Lay is headquartered their™. Maybe, just maybe……
I also forgot to talk to G™ about taxes. I wonder how much she understands about them? The agreement she had me sign said $1,000 in cash on th etable every Friday.How did she corner me into signing a document without reading it™? She must have near wizard-like powers.
Anyway, I signed it and it is done. I have to focus only on clean pennies™ and doing honest work. No more, er, no, uh, well, argggghhh! You know. No more!
I would really like to not leave the enjoyment I find in thi sblog. Sure you haters™ sometimes get me down, but my new vitamin regiment™ has done wonders for me. I have found that a proprietary combination of oxcetyl-beta thorazidinoide, keratonium polyglycolate, fengreekic ascerbate and hydroxy acid works wonders. You should try it.
Gotta go and get ready for the big big teleconference. I need to put on my new shirt and brush my teeth.
---
PS,
Click on link number 8 (above) in the “Sweet Links™” section. These guys are great and I want to help them any way I can.
---
Just for the record. I don’t like bugs™ they’re icky.
In fact I won’t eat anything with an exoskelleton.
Except shrimp, and lobster and crab and oysters (OK, stretching the exoskelleton thingy™ a bit).
Friday, May 18, 2007
Most Hated Blogger on MSN and Server Nightmare
OK,
Some ground rules for tonight’s beg-a-thon™. First, I will not be demeaned by any of you haters™ for any amount. Well, any amount less than $5. Next, you cannot make any reference to G™ at all. Except for any amount over $6. Since I have several potentially HUGHE business deals that will instantly net me large sums of money, they cannot be mentioned. Except for a $4 or greater credit.
Now, some suggestions:
Me in the Jetta™ - $1
Me on the hood of the Jetta™ - $1
photo of my mail stack™ (it is now about 1/3 the size of G’s sister’s™ back yard - $2
Picture of me opening the mail - yeah, right…
Picture of me fillimg out a job application - $25,000
Well, you guys get the drift. I’m not going to eat any kind of creature or bug (except if you offer $2 or more). C’mon guys get creative. I’m going to take an extra long nap™ so I will be rested and ready. Since cash call is still squared away, my goal is to raise $37.50 between 8:00 PM and midnight.
That should be enough money to fund my grubstake™ to start my semi-foolproof roulette™ career! If all goes according to plan, I should be at South Shore by 5:00 AM and by noon (assuming 1 minute per spin, and my calculated payoof/win-win™ rate of 1.021:1), I’ll have $121,009 by noon. Sweet™! If I stay until 4:00PM, I’ll have $11,707,905!
I’m just not sure if I’m up to doing it for like 11 hours.
Some ground rules for tonight’s beg-a-thon™. First, I will not be demeaned by any of you haters™ for any amount. Well, any amount less than $5. Next, you cannot make any reference to G™ at all. Except for any amount over $6. Since I have several potentially HUGHE business deals that will instantly net me large sums of money, they cannot be mentioned. Except for a $4 or greater credit.
Now, some suggestions:
Me in the Jetta™ - $1
Me on the hood of the Jetta™ - $1
photo of my mail stack™ (it is now about 1/3 the size of G’s sister’s™ back yard - $2
Picture of me opening the mail - yeah, right…
Picture of me fillimg out a job application - $25,000
Well, you guys get the drift. I’m not going to eat any kind of creature or bug (except if you offer $2 or more). C’mon guys get creative. I’m going to take an extra long nap™ so I will be rested and ready. Since cash call is still squared away, my goal is to raise $37.50 between 8:00 PM and midnight.
That should be enough money to fund my grubstake™ to start my semi-foolproof roulette™ career! If all goes according to plan, I should be at South Shore by 5:00 AM and by noon (assuming 1 minute per spin, and my calculated payoof/win-win™ rate of 1.021:1), I’ll have $121,009 by noon. Sweet™! If I stay until 4:00PM, I’ll have $11,707,905!
I’m just not sure if I’m up to doing it for like 11 hours.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Not Baiting Haterz. Just Keepin’ It Real.
So many shiny thngs™ and so little time™.
I was watching the Home Shopping network on the satellite last night and they had the Binford Juicemaster 5000™. I was very tempted to buy it for 11 easy payments of $99.95 (plus S&H), but G™ woke up and made me turn it off. Good thing, or I would have done it. I still might because I was TiVo-ing the whole segment.
Its been a very busy and productive week so far. I have had my sahre of server issues (by the way, you were right™ the Go Daddy bare-bones server was monthly, not outright. I should have read the contract I signed™. Maybe next time). Since getting the server up and stable I decided that another beg-a-thon™ would be cleansing for me (notice the wheatgrass™ in the picture). Also, what do you guys think about the little beard-ette on my chin? I think it converys power.
I was feeling down yesterday afternoon after my meditation™ so I needed a little something to reward myself for being a semi-early riser™, semi-vegan™ and being semi-organised™. I went to Niello Porsche and Niello BMW and did some testdriving.™ I told the sales guys that I was a professional real estate investor™ and I was going to begin hosting a new professional real estate college™ and I might need a nice set of sweet™ wheels to inpress the students.
It was alot™ of fun and further reinforced my desire to generate passive income™. That was when I decided to do another beg-a-thon™. The way I see it it is not much time and a big reward. I can’t tell you yet about my next big development™ but it promises to be life changing! Keep clicking back to see the announcement.
I also got some leads on some sweet™ foreclosure deals that I might be able to wholesale and warehouse. I found a service that will provide me with daily listing of notices of forecloseure in the Sacramento area for only $600 a month. If I can warehuse and wholesale only 3 a weel, I can turn a profit. One of my highly skilled professionals™ in my network tried to talk me out of it, saying its free if I read the SacBee at the library, but I’ll have none of that smoke and mirrors kind of stuff.
I’m thinking of taking G™ to Macaroni Grill™ Saurday night to celebrate being only 114 days away from sucess™. It will be a night to remember!
I was watching the Home Shopping network on the satellite last night and they had the Binford Juicemaster 5000™. I was very tempted to buy it for 11 easy payments of $99.95 (plus S&H), but G™ woke up and made me turn it off. Good thing, or I would have done it. I still might because I was TiVo-ing the whole segment.
Its been a very busy and productive week so far. I have had my sahre of server issues (by the way, you were right™ the Go Daddy bare-bones server was monthly, not outright. I should have read the contract I signed™. Maybe next time). Since getting the server up and stable I decided that another beg-a-thon™ would be cleansing for me (notice the wheatgrass™ in the picture). Also, what do you guys think about the little beard-ette on my chin? I think it converys power.
I was feeling down yesterday afternoon after my meditation™ so I needed a little something to reward myself for being a semi-early riser™, semi-vegan™ and being semi-organised™. I went to Niello Porsche and Niello BMW and did some testdriving.™ I told the sales guys that I was a professional real estate investor™ and I was going to begin hosting a new professional real estate college™ and I might need a nice set of sweet™ wheels to inpress the students.
It was alot™ of fun and further reinforced my desire to generate passive income™. That was when I decided to do another beg-a-thon™. The way I see it it is not much time and a big reward. I can’t tell you yet about my next big development™ but it promises to be life changing! Keep clicking back to see the announcement.
I also got some leads on some sweet™ foreclosure deals that I might be able to wholesale and warehouse. I found a service that will provide me with daily listing of notices of forecloseure in the Sacramento area for only $600 a month. If I can warehuse and wholesale only 3 a weel, I can turn a profit. One of my highly skilled professionals™ in my network tried to talk me out of it, saying its free if I read the SacBee at the library, but I’ll have none of that smoke and mirrors kind of stuff.
I’m thinking of taking G™ to Macaroni Grill™ Saurday night to celebrate being only 114 days away from sucess™. It will be a night to remember!
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Foreclosed, Hated and Down
Here is a link to the server I mentioned:
http://tinyurl.com/264jo5
The picture shows the complete package. Since I went for the bare bones model, mine only included the second one from the right.
http://tinyurl.com/264jo5
The picture shows the complete package. Since I went for the bare bones model, mine only included the second one from the right.
From Foreclosure to Success: 120 Days
Ok,
Now that I have the DNS thingy™ figured out (it wan an especially shiny object™). I can re-configure my previous post. Here it is:
Marriage - start counseling (G™ went this morning. I overslept™. I am hopeful that by tomorrow she will be talking to me so I can hear how it went and what I should be doing to assist)
Cashflow - control expenses and create stable income (This will be especially hard™ since I am continuously presented with enormous opportunities™)
Progress - focus on key opportunities and big deals (It’s a snap™! With my enormous network of highly qualified professional™ they will keep ontop™ of this for me.)
Foreclosure and non foreclosure opportunities available to me:
This is the stuff I’ve had brewing over the last 8-9 months. Most of these came as a direct result from my foreclosure experience and blogging about it.
Website/blog development and consulting - $50/hour+
I have already sent out nearly two dozed emails advertising my services. I can’t wait for the responses to roll in.
Continue monetizing this foreclosure blog with advertising, sponsorships and affiliate commissions: $1,000-3,000/mo
– I can do this in my sleep. In fact that’s how I’ve been doing it all along.
Review foreclosure related services and products: $250-500 per review
– Again, with my extensive network™ and my mass emailing™ (see above) it’s a win-win™ sweet™ opportunity. I should have thought of this months ago!
Help people stop foreclosure by offering and/or referring consulting, loss mitigation, short sale assistance, buying their house, etc: $ varies
– I am especially interested in the “buying there™ properties part largely due to the fact that that is where the majority of my ”hands on” experience lies.
Recruit for real estate investing college and make 50% commission: typically $8,000 per sale
– I am a walking testamonial™ too™ these colleges!
Create and sell book(s) and info products around my foreclosure story: $ varies
– Picture books first. I don’t want too™ get overextended.
Work as an account executive with a commercial capital / brokerage firm on big deals 10 million and up: $50,000+ commissions/fees per deal
– This is wear™ the sweet™ $$$ is. With my real estate background it will reach unheard of levels.
Invest in private equity funds and high-return real estate developments/deals: 24-60%+ returns
– One word: Sweeeeeeeeeeet™
More: almost-guaranteed roulette strategy: $100-500/session
– I got this idea a Lake Tahoe while I was eating an almost-vegan Captain’s Cut Prime Rib at the $1.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. I was talking to a guy named “Cowboy François” who was a little down on his grubstake. He told me about his almost-guaranteed strategy of betting 38 times straight on 0 and 00. I instantly texted one of my highly qualified professionals™ in my network™ to get the odd in roulette. He told me that red was a better way. So, my strategy is to constantly bet on red and make it up on the 2:1 odds! Win-win™ for me and loose-loose™ for the casinos.
I am truly surprised no one had ever seen the brilliance in this plan before.
Now that I have the DNS thingy™ figured out (it wan an especially shiny object™). I can re-configure my previous post. Here it is:
Marriage - start counseling (G™ went this morning. I overslept™. I am hopeful that by tomorrow she will be talking to me so I can hear how it went and what I should be doing to assist)
Cashflow - control expenses and create stable income (This will be especially hard™ since I am continuously presented with enormous opportunities™)
Progress - focus on key opportunities and big deals (It’s a snap™! With my enormous network of highly qualified professional™ they will keep ontop™ of this for me.)
Foreclosure and non foreclosure opportunities available to me:
This is the stuff I’ve had brewing over the last 8-9 months. Most of these came as a direct result from my foreclosure experience and blogging about it.
Website/blog development and consulting - $50/hour+
I have already sent out nearly two dozed emails advertising my services. I can’t wait for the responses to roll in.
Continue monetizing this foreclosure blog with advertising, sponsorships and affiliate commissions: $1,000-3,000/mo
– I can do this in my sleep. In fact that’s how I’ve been doing it all along.
Review foreclosure related services and products: $250-500 per review
– Again, with my extensive network™ and my mass emailing™ (see above) it’s a win-win™ sweet™ opportunity. I should have thought of this months ago!
Help people stop foreclosure by offering and/or referring consulting, loss mitigation, short sale assistance, buying their house, etc: $ varies
– I am especially interested in the “buying there™ properties part largely due to the fact that that is where the majority of my ”hands on” experience lies.
Recruit for real estate investing college and make 50% commission: typically $8,000 per sale
– I am a walking testamonial™ too™ these colleges!
Create and sell book(s) and info products around my foreclosure story: $ varies
– Picture books first. I don’t want too™ get overextended.
Work as an account executive with a commercial capital / brokerage firm on big deals 10 million and up: $50,000+ commissions/fees per deal
– This is wear™ the sweet™ $$$ is. With my real estate background it will reach unheard of levels.
Invest in private equity funds and high-return real estate developments/deals: 24-60%+ returns
– One word: Sweeeeeeeeeeet™
More: almost-guaranteed roulette strategy: $100-500/session
– I got this idea a Lake Tahoe while I was eating an almost-vegan Captain’s Cut Prime Rib at the $1.99 all-you-can-eat buffet. I was talking to a guy named “Cowboy François” who was a little down on his grubstake. He told me about his almost-guaranteed strategy of betting 38 times straight on 0 and 00. I instantly texted one of my highly qualified professionals™ in my network™ to get the odd in roulette. He told me that red was a better way. So, my strategy is to constantly bet on red and make it up on the 2:1 odds! Win-win™ for me and loose-loose™ for the casinos.
I am truly surprised no one had ever seen the brilliance in this plan before.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Casey Serin / Foreclosure Mention in Stern (German)
Hi everybody.
Sorry I have been a way awhile™. I was engaged in strategic planning with some of my highly qualified members of my network™.
Since getting the copy of my interview in “Bierglas”, I made the aquantence of Hans, a native born German. Hans was kind enough to transpate the article for me.
Rather than post the enitre article here (which would actually require me to type the whole thing), I’ll put the parts that are most interesting and easy to type. Here are the highlights form the “Bierglas” article:
Attention! Attention! Attention! Streect attention must be paid by all readers of thees articles! Failure to comply weeth thees directive weel reult in strict discipline! Yoo haf to comply at once!
Thees story ees about ein amerikaner™ neme off Cayzee Serin. Not the gaz, but the persone. Cayzee is lazy amerikaner who wants to do others to half heez worken done for heem. Hee ees not to be made model of. This is ein order!
Her Serin ees what “strenght throu Joy” wass created for. Hee needs to understand the structure of discipline und feel rewards from the virtue of hard worken. Instead Mr. Serin has made mess of his life through hees inadequate educazion tha hee has paid many months of honest wager for. Hee is to be regarded as simpleton who wants to be rewarded without the joys that kome from hard efforts and labor. Attentions! Hee ees not to be regarded in high esteem.
Cayze has been held accountable and without report for veareeeouz theengz of scheeemes that hee thot would werk out to hees advantages. He has been proven beyond doubts and with much evidence to be layze and inattentive to even the largest of details that ordinary German superior citizen would have seen quite cleverly and clear. As Cayze grew more impatient with becomming the fast rich, hee fell to even lower levels of the lazeeynes.
…
Turnong hees back to the fruits and labors of his coutrymens and even forsaking the foundations of der Fatherland, he took thee naps in the days when others of strong minds, dispositions and strong backs were plyine their labors in Strength through Joy. Cayze appers to beee in membersheepwith Dopolavoro! He eees not to be honored! Attention!
While gleefully taking money from peoples laboring in KdF, hee vas found to be in liar with personal financial documents in his dossier! Hees amerikaner bankers clearly deed not adequately and accurately check hees papers! Hee would not even bee able to cross into or out of Bavaria in our maintenance of Government and public order!
Caysee clearly shows his disdain for our glorious Fatherland and our suporior peeoples by inadequately maintaining hees KubelWagen. Hees lack of labor directed at proper maintenance scheduling should be an embarrasment to all descendandts of the glorious Fatherland! Attention!
Eeeen the end, Cayzee weel face the appropriate puneeshments from the Authorities and be held to strickt discipline! He weeel bee made to perform the hard labors and weeel learn that pure joy comes from strength, hard worken and purity of mind. Attention! Hee weeel be made to face the repercussions of his slovenly ways.
Perhaps thee amerikaner authorities weeel confiscate heees eeel gooten gains and send hees lovely wife to perform the hard labors too!
Attention! Attention! Attention!
Wow. I feel blessed™ that Hans was kind enough to translate that article from “Bierglas” for me. That was very strnuous, so I will lay down to meditate. It is friday, so we are going to have semi-vegan™ tri-tip for dinner. Yum!
...
Wow.
I must have pressed the rong™ button on fryday™ because my translation didn’t make it.
wow™
Sorry I have been a way awhile™. I was engaged in strategic planning with some of my highly qualified members of my network™.
Since getting the copy of my interview in “Bierglas”, I made the aquantence of Hans, a native born German. Hans was kind enough to transpate the article for me.
Rather than post the enitre article here (which would actually require me to type the whole thing), I’ll put the parts that are most interesting and easy to type. Here are the highlights form the “Bierglas” article:
Attention! Attention! Attention! Streect attention must be paid by all readers of thees articles! Failure to comply weeth thees directive weel reult in strict discipline! Yoo haf to comply at once!
Thees story ees about ein amerikaner™ neme off Cayzee Serin. Not the gaz, but the persone. Cayzee is lazy amerikaner who wants to do others to half heez worken done for heem. Hee ees not to be made model of. This is ein order!
Her Serin ees what “strenght throu Joy” wass created for. Hee needs to understand the structure of discipline und feel rewards from the virtue of hard worken. Instead Mr. Serin has made mess of his life through hees inadequate educazion tha hee has paid many months of honest wager for. Hee is to be regarded as simpleton who wants to be rewarded without the joys that kome from hard efforts and labor. Attentions! Hee ees not to be regarded in high esteem.
Cayze has been held accountable and without report for veareeeouz theengz of scheeemes that hee thot would werk out to hees advantages. He has been proven beyond doubts and with much evidence to be layze and inattentive to even the largest of details that ordinary German superior citizen would have seen quite cleverly and clear. As Cayze grew more impatient with becomming the fast rich, hee fell to even lower levels of the lazeeynes.
…
Turnong hees back to the fruits and labors of his coutrymens and even forsaking the foundations of der Fatherland, he took thee naps in the days when others of strong minds, dispositions and strong backs were plyine their labors in Strength through Joy. Cayze appers to beee in membersheepwith Dopolavoro! He eees not to be honored! Attention!
While gleefully taking money from peoples laboring in KdF, hee vas found to be in liar with personal financial documents in his dossier! Hees amerikaner bankers clearly deed not adequately and accurately check hees papers! Hee would not even bee able to cross into or out of Bavaria in our maintenance of Government and public order!
Caysee clearly shows his disdain for our glorious Fatherland and our suporior peeoples by inadequately maintaining hees KubelWagen. Hees lack of labor directed at proper maintenance scheduling should be an embarrasment to all descendandts of the glorious Fatherland! Attention!
Eeeen the end, Cayzee weel face the appropriate puneeshments from the Authorities and be held to strickt discipline! He weeel bee made to perform the hard labors and weeel learn that pure joy comes from strength, hard worken and purity of mind. Attention! Hee weeel be made to face the repercussions of his slovenly ways.
Perhaps thee amerikaner authorities weeel confiscate heees eeel gooten gains and send hees lovely wife to perform the hard labors too!
Attention! Attention! Attention!
Wow. I feel blessed™ that Hans was kind enough to translate that article from “Bierglas” for me. That was very strnuous, so I will lay down to meditate. It is friday, so we are going to have semi-vegan™ tri-tip for dinner. Yum!
...
Wow.
I must have pressed the rong™ button on fryday™ because my translation didn’t make it.
wow™
Friday, May 4, 2007
#6 Foreclosure Search on Google, Talking Foreclosure Book
Good Morning™ I am a modified semi-vegan™, modified semi-early riser™ today!
I received some private emails that suggested I had spelling and grammatical errors™ on my post, so I have done a “before and after”.
I would have posted earlier, but I has the $1.99 semi-vegan™ grand slam at Denny’s with a side of organic free range Kobi ham. Yum!
I wrote:
“And it’s organic! Don’t have to pay a penny (dirty or not). Now I just have to do something good with it. Like figure out if people are looking for how to stop foreclosure, or to research foreclosure process/laws or to buy foreclosures. Probably a mixture of all of those. So the demand is there. Now I just need to work on the supply. Gotta give people what they want.”
Translation: “you gguts did iit all for me. Sweet™!. Lots of page views. Now what?”
I wrote:
“I’m looking for ideas, contacts and resources to develop this foreclosure blog further. Namely if you have a product or service that can help people in foreclosure or those looking to buy foreclosures, feel free to contact me. I want to review your foreclosure related product and interview you on this blog. I’m still looking for advertisers and sponsors. ”
Translation: “How the Hell can I make a dime off of all this traffic and still be able to take naps.”
I Wrote:
“I’m putting together a plan for this foreclosure blog to take it to the next level and am open to input and participation. Aside from advertising, I’m thinking about doing an article area and maybe some FAQs and a foreclosure resource directory with a list of companies and professionals that can help people stop or avoid foreclosure.”
Translation: “This seems so hard when I have to do it myself.”
I Wrote:
“The brainstorming session in Lake Tahoe went OK. I had some good thoughts but didn’t get a chance to write and send an update to my mailing list yet. That’s OK though, ‘cuz I’m still thinking through my plans.”
Translation: “The casino thought I was a whale and comped me two nights. When I didn’t come through by going to the private high rollers area they grabbed me from the seafood buffet and two muscleheads, Vito and Vinnie, invited me to have an asphalt sandwich. Fortunately I could run faster than they could, but mu murse is still locked in my room”
I wrote:
“Foreclosure Book
I actually spent most of the day yesterday talking with my publisher about my upcoming foreclosure book. Basically we have sessions where I’m talking out my story with all the juicy details and recording everything as it comes. This “brain dump” then goes to the transcriber to be converted to text. Then we massage and edit the text. It’s a fun process and not as hard as I thought.”
Translation: “This is really extra sweet™. I don’t have to write. They are giving me a recorder and all I have to do is dictate my story and my philosophy of life. I feel blessed™ now knowing that once I finish, I will have a best seller on my hands and I will be able to pay back every dirty penny™!”
I wrote:
“I went back and forth on writing this foreclosure book. At this point I’m going full speed ahead. I don’t need some kind of a miraculous “turn around story” to share my foreclosure experience in detail. ”
Translation: “At forst all it seemed so overbearing having to actually write. I couldn’t get started. All I could do is lie on the floor in the fetal position for hours.”
I wrote:
“There is plenty to talk about. Including my background, coming to America, early entrepreneurial adventures, how I got started in real estate, going to seminars, etc. Then there are the details about all the properties, including why I bought them, what I did to them, how much money I made or lost and where it all went. ”
Translation: “Once everyone hears my philosophy of life, they too will be able to replicate myamazing feats!”
I wrote: “Maybe, I can even scan in some of the mortgage documents, contracts and other paperwork. I can’t promise anything but I’ll see what I can do. I want the foreclosure book to be as detailed as possible to show the full story.”
Translation:: “Hey, since they are going to transcribe my dictation, maybe they will com e by and open my mountain of mail™. I haven’t touched it since Thanksgiving.:
I wrote:
“I also want to talk about this blog, the haters, the media coverage, the resulting opportunities and all the craziness that went on in the last 8-9 months. ”
Translation: “I wonder how far I can push this before they’ll get wide to me?”
I wrote:
“Of course, I don’t know how much of that will end up in the final version but that’s just a little taste of what may come. Now it’s time to go back home. I don’t have enough revenue yet to justify taking long business trips. It sure was good to get away though and get some productive business done.”
Translation: “Most of what I spout is diatribe and self serving excuses for having done nothing productive for almost a year. Maybe they can make a kid’s picture book instead?”
Their™ Now you should be happy all of you haters™.
I have to go now and see if I can retreive my murse. It’s supposed to snow pretty hard today so I hope I don’t get stuck. Wouldn’t that be a story!
---
Yawn.
Here’s a recap of everything I’ve done sonce May 3rd at 12:05PM:
1)
So you can readily see why I am so tired today. I need to take a nap.
I’ll have a post up by Wednesday or June.
I received some private emails that suggested I had spelling and grammatical errors™ on my post, so I have done a “before and after”.
I would have posted earlier, but I has the $1.99 semi-vegan™ grand slam at Denny’s with a side of organic free range Kobi ham. Yum!
I wrote:
“And it’s organic! Don’t have to pay a penny (dirty or not). Now I just have to do something good with it. Like figure out if people are looking for how to stop foreclosure, or to research foreclosure process/laws or to buy foreclosures. Probably a mixture of all of those. So the demand is there. Now I just need to work on the supply. Gotta give people what they want.”
Translation: “you gguts did iit all for me. Sweet™!. Lots of page views. Now what?”
I wrote:
“I’m looking for ideas, contacts and resources to develop this foreclosure blog further. Namely if you have a product or service that can help people in foreclosure or those looking to buy foreclosures, feel free to contact me. I want to review your foreclosure related product and interview you on this blog. I’m still looking for advertisers and sponsors. ”
Translation: “How the Hell can I make a dime off of all this traffic and still be able to take naps.”
I Wrote:
“I’m putting together a plan for this foreclosure blog to take it to the next level and am open to input and participation. Aside from advertising, I’m thinking about doing an article area and maybe some FAQs and a foreclosure resource directory with a list of companies and professionals that can help people stop or avoid foreclosure.”
Translation: “This seems so hard when I have to do it myself.”
I Wrote:
“The brainstorming session in Lake Tahoe went OK. I had some good thoughts but didn’t get a chance to write and send an update to my mailing list yet. That’s OK though, ‘cuz I’m still thinking through my plans.”
Translation: “The casino thought I was a whale and comped me two nights. When I didn’t come through by going to the private high rollers area they grabbed me from the seafood buffet and two muscleheads, Vito and Vinnie, invited me to have an asphalt sandwich. Fortunately I could run faster than they could, but mu murse is still locked in my room”
I wrote:
“Foreclosure Book
I actually spent most of the day yesterday talking with my publisher about my upcoming foreclosure book. Basically we have sessions where I’m talking out my story with all the juicy details and recording everything as it comes. This “brain dump” then goes to the transcriber to be converted to text. Then we massage and edit the text. It’s a fun process and not as hard as I thought.”
Translation: “This is really extra sweet™. I don’t have to write. They are giving me a recorder and all I have to do is dictate my story and my philosophy of life. I feel blessed™ now knowing that once I finish, I will have a best seller on my hands and I will be able to pay back every dirty penny™!”
I wrote:
“I went back and forth on writing this foreclosure book. At this point I’m going full speed ahead. I don’t need some kind of a miraculous “turn around story” to share my foreclosure experience in detail. ”
Translation: “At forst all it seemed so overbearing having to actually write. I couldn’t get started. All I could do is lie on the floor in the fetal position for hours.”
I wrote:
“There is plenty to talk about. Including my background, coming to America, early entrepreneurial adventures, how I got started in real estate, going to seminars, etc. Then there are the details about all the properties, including why I bought them, what I did to them, how much money I made or lost and where it all went. ”
Translation: “Once everyone hears my philosophy of life, they too will be able to replicate myamazing feats!”
I wrote: “Maybe, I can even scan in some of the mortgage documents, contracts and other paperwork. I can’t promise anything but I’ll see what I can do. I want the foreclosure book to be as detailed as possible to show the full story.”
Translation:: “Hey, since they are going to transcribe my dictation, maybe they will com e by and open my mountain of mail™. I haven’t touched it since Thanksgiving.:
I wrote:
“I also want to talk about this blog, the haters, the media coverage, the resulting opportunities and all the craziness that went on in the last 8-9 months. ”
Translation: “I wonder how far I can push this before they’ll get wide to me?”
I wrote:
“Of course, I don’t know how much of that will end up in the final version but that’s just a little taste of what may come. Now it’s time to go back home. I don’t have enough revenue yet to justify taking long business trips. It sure was good to get away though and get some productive business done.”
Translation: “Most of what I spout is diatribe and self serving excuses for having done nothing productive for almost a year. Maybe they can make a kid’s picture book instead?”
Their™ Now you should be happy all of you haters™.
I have to go now and see if I can retreive my murse. It’s supposed to snow pretty hard today so I hope I don’t get stuck. Wouldn’t that be a story!
---
Yawn.
Here’s a recap of everything I’ve done sonce May 3rd at 12:05PM:
1)
So you can readily see why I am so tired today. I need to take a nap.
I’ll have a post up by Wednesday or June.
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Brainstorming in Lake Tahoe
Good Morning! The beauty of nature is beyond comparison. I feel blessed to live in a state that offers so much of the bounteous beauty of nature! I have had to delete many of your posts because the haters™ are really being harsh. Rather than take the Jetta (can’t risk having that sweet™ ride being put in jeopardy, G™ and I took our new “home away from home that is, in reality, about to be our home” for a little shakedown cruise. If their™ is one thing I have learned about all things mechanical, is that they can sometimes be unreliable. What better way to learn the idiosyncrasies of our new abode than by putting it to the test?
We left G’s™ sister (Y™) shortly before sunrise, I think it was about 4 AM, but I am the idea guy™ so I really didn’t look at a clock (why bother? My days are so full that I scarcely have time to complete my myriad of important tasks, so I just charge ahead at full speed!). You will doubtless realize by my lack of moderation that it took slightly longer than I had planned to reach Tahoe. I had envisioned a scenic 3-4 hour drive, but it was well past sunset when we finally made our destination (more on that later). A temporary setback, but I consider it falling forward™. I learned a great deal and took considerable solace from the fact that Einstein was said to have flunked algebra not once but twice! I am blessed™
To put all of your fears to rest, I will give you a breakdown of my expenses:
Gas: In my defense, I should have read the consumer reports tests done in the late 80’s about the gas mileage of minivans. But hey, I was only 9 years old and I was still compiling that vast body of knowledge I would need years later to boost my entrepreneurial efforts™. OK, we averages 11 miles per gallon, at $3.399, so that was $36.98 (2 fill ups), plus an anticipated $55 in overdraft fees (the rent was paid, remember?)
Oil. Hmm. When I bought the “home away from home that is, in reality, about to be our home” ™, I did not really understand that a mini van is powered by a different type of power plant than most automobiles. After about half an hour of driving the “check engine” light came on. Since I knew where the engine was, and that it had not been removed, I continued on. About 20 minutes later the light was still on and I remembered the issue when I took the Bio Bunny™ to New Mexico and Utah and how made Dave got that I smoked his engine.
I pulled over and began to look around. I am not particularly skilled in being an automotive technician, but I didn’t think it smelled right. It kind of smelled like a walk in closet in a fancy house. After a moment, I recalled the aroma: cedar. Hmm I thought that is strange, Carlos, who sold me the car didn’t mention that I used a wood burning propulsion system. So I continued my detailed and methodical™ approach to diagnosing the problem. When I finally located the oil dipstick (I think it was about 2:30) it showed a low oil level. No problem! I had a supply of Marvel Mystery Oil in the pantry (er, back seat). Five quarts later and we were good to go!
Another 45 minutes or so and that pesky light was back on again. This time, building upon my now considerable mechanical skills, I knew exactly what the problem was. In a moment of pure blessedness™, the next had a Jiffy Lube. I told G™ that we should stop their™ and get a professional oil change. After a few minutes, the Jiffy Lube man came out and said that their™ was something very unusual going on with the van. I told him “of course their™ is. Mini vans use a unique power plant that is unlike those found in ordinary vehicles.” No, replied the technician, the crankcase was full of sawdust.
I had to ponder that statement for a moment. Then, using my superior mental powers I had the answer. Not only had I been a visionary™ in selecting a new form of habitation for G™ and myself, I had inadvertently stumbled onto a very “green” mode of transportation. I was blessed™ by having purchased a carbon-neutral, modified-vegan™ mini van! I was immediately brought back to earth (no pun intended) when the tech explained that sawdust is usually put inside an engine to hide problems.
An oil change later ($29.95, plus an anticipated $27.50 ‘service fee’ from the bank) and we were good to go. It was inspirational that I also stopped to buy several one-gallon containers of 80-weight gear oil (per the Jiffy Lube guy’s suggestion). We were off on our panoramic odyssey again!
I found that it was quite spiritual breaking up the trip into 45-50 minute segments. The gear oil seemed to last a good 5-10 miles longer than the Marvel Mystery Oil, and quieted down the engine considerably.
We arrived at Tahoe after dark, and I immediately found a quiet and secluded campsite right off of the road. I went about cutting some wood and building a fire for a romantic theme. Total cost of the trip so far (including, gas, oil and service charges: $221.58 - sweet™!) About an hour after I had set the romantic mood with the campfire, we were interrupted by the sound of a helicopter overhead. My first though was that their™ was some sort of a fugitive lose™. Before I could get into defensive mode, their™ were 8 fire trucks converging on us.
As the men got out of they’re™ trucks, the hurried past us and doused the fire with a stream of water. They were not very friendly and said we were trespassing on US Forest Service land and it was in a no-burn zone and we could be fined $10,000 and placed in jail! Because I possess superior negotiating skills™ I was able to quickly lower the tension level and get along with a warning. I’ll have to make a note™ to contact my congressperson to make sure they use better signage in the future.
Any way, we drove about 100 yards father into the forest and I used the hibachi on the running board to grill a tasty dinner of tri tip ($8.99 + $27.50). I feel content in my assessment of the modified-vegan™ diet by considering that if the cow ate an entirely vegan diet (which they all do, right?) then I am continuing that vegan existence by eating the flesh of only vegan creatures. Viola! Modified-vegan™!
I moderated comments for about an hour, and then meditated™ until mid-morning. More to come later, as I have to contemplate some important core-value issues and catch up on my business communication™. I must never let my network of highly trained professionals™ down. More to come.
We left G’s™ sister (Y™) shortly before sunrise, I think it was about 4 AM, but I am the idea guy™ so I really didn’t look at a clock (why bother? My days are so full that I scarcely have time to complete my myriad of important tasks, so I just charge ahead at full speed!). You will doubtless realize by my lack of moderation that it took slightly longer than I had planned to reach Tahoe. I had envisioned a scenic 3-4 hour drive, but it was well past sunset when we finally made our destination (more on that later). A temporary setback, but I consider it falling forward™. I learned a great deal and took considerable solace from the fact that Einstein was said to have flunked algebra not once but twice! I am blessed™
To put all of your fears to rest, I will give you a breakdown of my expenses:
Gas: In my defense, I should have read the consumer reports tests done in the late 80’s about the gas mileage of minivans. But hey, I was only 9 years old and I was still compiling that vast body of knowledge I would need years later to boost my entrepreneurial efforts™. OK, we averages 11 miles per gallon, at $3.399, so that was $36.98 (2 fill ups), plus an anticipated $55 in overdraft fees (the rent was paid, remember?)
Oil. Hmm. When I bought the “home away from home that is, in reality, about to be our home” ™, I did not really understand that a mini van is powered by a different type of power plant than most automobiles. After about half an hour of driving the “check engine” light came on. Since I knew where the engine was, and that it had not been removed, I continued on. About 20 minutes later the light was still on and I remembered the issue when I took the Bio Bunny™ to New Mexico and Utah and how made Dave got that I smoked his engine.
I pulled over and began to look around. I am not particularly skilled in being an automotive technician, but I didn’t think it smelled right. It kind of smelled like a walk in closet in a fancy house. After a moment, I recalled the aroma: cedar. Hmm I thought that is strange, Carlos, who sold me the car didn’t mention that I used a wood burning propulsion system. So I continued my detailed and methodical™ approach to diagnosing the problem. When I finally located the oil dipstick (I think it was about 2:30) it showed a low oil level. No problem! I had a supply of Marvel Mystery Oil in the pantry (er, back seat). Five quarts later and we were good to go!
Another 45 minutes or so and that pesky light was back on again. This time, building upon my now considerable mechanical skills, I knew exactly what the problem was. In a moment of pure blessedness™, the next had a Jiffy Lube. I told G™ that we should stop their™ and get a professional oil change. After a few minutes, the Jiffy Lube man came out and said that their™ was something very unusual going on with the van. I told him “of course their™ is. Mini vans use a unique power plant that is unlike those found in ordinary vehicles.” No, replied the technician, the crankcase was full of sawdust.
I had to ponder that statement for a moment. Then, using my superior mental powers I had the answer. Not only had I been a visionary™ in selecting a new form of habitation for G™ and myself, I had inadvertently stumbled onto a very “green” mode of transportation. I was blessed™ by having purchased a carbon-neutral, modified-vegan™ mini van! I was immediately brought back to earth (no pun intended) when the tech explained that sawdust is usually put inside an engine to hide problems.
An oil change later ($29.95, plus an anticipated $27.50 ‘service fee’ from the bank) and we were good to go. It was inspirational that I also stopped to buy several one-gallon containers of 80-weight gear oil (per the Jiffy Lube guy’s suggestion). We were off on our panoramic odyssey again!
I found that it was quite spiritual breaking up the trip into 45-50 minute segments. The gear oil seemed to last a good 5-10 miles longer than the Marvel Mystery Oil, and quieted down the engine considerably.
We arrived at Tahoe after dark, and I immediately found a quiet and secluded campsite right off of the road. I went about cutting some wood and building a fire for a romantic theme. Total cost of the trip so far (including, gas, oil and service charges: $221.58 - sweet™!) About an hour after I had set the romantic mood with the campfire, we were interrupted by the sound of a helicopter overhead. My first though was that their™ was some sort of a fugitive lose™. Before I could get into defensive mode, their™ were 8 fire trucks converging on us.
As the men got out of they’re™ trucks, the hurried past us and doused the fire with a stream of water. They were not very friendly and said we were trespassing on US Forest Service land and it was in a no-burn zone and we could be fined $10,000 and placed in jail! Because I possess superior negotiating skills™ I was able to quickly lower the tension level and get along with a warning. I’ll have to make a note™ to contact my congressperson to make sure they use better signage in the future.
Any way, we drove about 100 yards father into the forest and I used the hibachi on the running board to grill a tasty dinner of tri tip ($8.99 + $27.50). I feel content in my assessment of the modified-vegan™ diet by considering that if the cow ate an entirely vegan diet (which they all do, right?) then I am continuing that vegan existence by eating the flesh of only vegan creatures. Viola! Modified-vegan™!
I moderated comments for about an hour, and then meditated™ until mid-morning. More to come later, as I have to contemplate some important core-value issues and catch up on my business communication™. I must never let my network of highly trained professionals™ down. More to come.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
After Foreclosure: Living in a Car like Anya Peters?
I need some advidse™
I need to be bold. I need to be decisive. I need action and a plan. But before I make a bold move, I want to test it out slowly (I tend to get burned when I am distracted by shiny things™). Before I commit to living in a van, I want to make sure that it will be allright™. I spent the morning talking to my network of highly trained professionals™ to get their input on my idea. You see, it is sort of like having an executive committee that I can consult before making new and career path changing decisions. I see much value being added by stepping up™ into living in a car.
This will enhance the marketability of me and showcase my many talents and (hopefully) demonstrate my management skills™ vis-à-vis my foreclosure help website. You see, I feel blessed™ by having the vision™ to foresee not a stationary consulting business, but a mobile 24/7 action team headquarters that can instantly spring into action as duty may call.
Unfortunately, G™ doesn’t seem to see it that way.
I spent the morning looking around on craigslist and cars.com and other valuable resources (there’s my network™ again). I found a 1987 Dodge Caravan with 387,000 miles on it for $50 (sweet™! It’s in my budget). I think that if I can remove the rear seat I will have just enough room for a sleeping bag (or a blanket, as I haven’t been to REI to research virgin free-range goose down bags with alpaca/polyethylene liners and a gore-tex/100% recycled TPFE outer shell). Although the owner originally wanted $75 for the van, I was able to use my highly refined negotiating skills™ to get to the more reasonable price I obtained.
I think that the insurance cost will be significantly less, although I am somewhat concerned that the van hasn’t been registered since 1994. Should that be a problem?
I am also looking forward to no longer having a mailing address, so sorting the mail and dealing with all of those associated issues should get much easier. With my new found mobility, I hope to be able to immediately respond to homeowners in financial distress and share my wisdom and knowledge with them. I am hoping that I can build a referral network™ through these people who I help find financial salvation.
More details on my new planned living arrangements:
Kitchen – I found a great deal on a hibachi at Wal Mart for $11.87 (that’s also where I bought 11 quarts of Marvel Mystery Oil to try and quiet some of the noise coming from the engine – note to self™ I need to have a mechanic make a post-purchase inspection). Because my van has running boards, I can bolt it onto the passenger’s side (so if I am dining on the roadside I will not create a safety hazard). Also, by mounting it on the side, I will be able to save on lighter fluid buy driving around the block a couple of times a 25-30 MPH to create a draft and get the fire hot (idea guy™, remember?)
Dishwashing – Since my needs will be simple, I only need a small Tupperware container. I can get hot water from the radiator easily, since the heater core is blocked and the previous owner has plugged off the heater hoses. With a few feet of surplus garden hose I can have plenty of hot water for dishes and an occasional shower if need be.
Dish drying will follow along the lines of hibachi startup, but at higher speeds. I am still experimenting. 65 MPH seems to™ high (a plate was ejected on US 80 during the first test) but 25 MPH takes to™ long. I think maybe Watt Ave at 40 MPH would be about right.
I am hoping to get to Big Bob’s Used Carpet Emporium today to get some shag carpet (yeah baby!) to replace the 20 year old well-worn upholstery. I need it to look professional if I am to have a successful mobile consulting service. I plan to use the passenger’s seat as the reception area. Since the passenger’s seat has some spring sticking out, I am planning to remove it and instead pace the Blue Ball™ their™ to make it look more avant-garde. I don’t think it is legal to drive while sitting on a Blue Ball™ so I will have to conduct my consulting from a parked location.
Clothing/Personal effects storage seems to be problematic. Their™ I no concealed storage in the van, and I don’t want my clients to see my vast wardrobe. I was thinking about one of those roof mounted streamlined storage devises™ but they cost more than the van. Perhaps I can improvise™ something. Cardboard seems to™ flimsy, but one of my networked professionals™ has some leftover latex paint that is about the same as one of the colors on the van so it won’t look to™ mis-matched.
I am still having trouble with my new phone system so I can’t yet post any pictures. The minimum image file size is still way to™ large. Be patient.
If one of my professional sin my network™ has graphic art skills I could use it to make a handsome and professional graphic and lettering on the sides of the van. I want too™ come up with a bold logo, and paint it very large (to cover some of the rust) on the sides and hood. What about painting it in reverse on the hood so it is readable on the road, just like an ambulance.
I plan to park initially in neighborhoods that have been overbuild and where prices have run far to™ high (thanks for the marketing tip, Amy™!) for a few days to build some grass-roots marketing. I can also take some time out of my soon to be busy days to build a larger network with bird-dogging™ postal professionals™. Roger, my regular mailman has been a bitter disappointment. In nearly four months he has not yet brought a viable deal too™ the tabel™. I plan to have 35-50 postal professionals in my enhanced network™ by June 1. At that pace I should be able to bird dog™ between 2 and 89 deals a weak™.
I have to admit that I was overly optimistic in my apartment building venture. While I initially wanted $5,000 amonth™ in passive income, with my mobile web based consulting business, I think that between $1,000 and $1,500 should suit me well. Clearly it will take longer to establish my reputation as the leading mobile foreclosure consulting firm on the west coast, but the effort will be well directed. Long term I envision franchising the business model as I reach out to help those less fortunate than I. I feel blessed™ to have come up with this concept. I really did fall forward™. Stay tuned. I found some delicious organic maple cured free-range hormone free (modified vegan™?) bacon at the whole Earth Food Store that is normally $15.99 a pound for $11.99 a pound. I am going to treat myself for having made such an excellent negotiation on the van.
I need to be bold. I need to be decisive. I need action and a plan. But before I make a bold move, I want to test it out slowly (I tend to get burned when I am distracted by shiny things™). Before I commit to living in a van, I want to make sure that it will be allright™. I spent the morning talking to my network of highly trained professionals™ to get their input on my idea. You see, it is sort of like having an executive committee that I can consult before making new and career path changing decisions. I see much value being added by stepping up™ into living in a car.
This will enhance the marketability of me and showcase my many talents and (hopefully) demonstrate my management skills™ vis-à-vis my foreclosure help website. You see, I feel blessed™ by having the vision™ to foresee not a stationary consulting business, but a mobile 24/7 action team headquarters that can instantly spring into action as duty may call.
Unfortunately, G™ doesn’t seem to see it that way.
I spent the morning looking around on craigslist and cars.com and other valuable resources (there’s my network™ again). I found a 1987 Dodge Caravan with 387,000 miles on it for $50 (sweet™! It’s in my budget). I think that if I can remove the rear seat I will have just enough room for a sleeping bag (or a blanket, as I haven’t been to REI to research virgin free-range goose down bags with alpaca/polyethylene liners and a gore-tex/100% recycled TPFE outer shell). Although the owner originally wanted $75 for the van, I was able to use my highly refined negotiating skills™ to get to the more reasonable price I obtained.
I think that the insurance cost will be significantly less, although I am somewhat concerned that the van hasn’t been registered since 1994. Should that be a problem?
I am also looking forward to no longer having a mailing address, so sorting the mail and dealing with all of those associated issues should get much easier. With my new found mobility, I hope to be able to immediately respond to homeowners in financial distress and share my wisdom and knowledge with them. I am hoping that I can build a referral network™ through these people who I help find financial salvation.
More details on my new planned living arrangements:
Kitchen – I found a great deal on a hibachi at Wal Mart for $11.87 (that’s also where I bought 11 quarts of Marvel Mystery Oil to try and quiet some of the noise coming from the engine – note to self™ I need to have a mechanic make a post-purchase inspection). Because my van has running boards, I can bolt it onto the passenger’s side (so if I am dining on the roadside I will not create a safety hazard). Also, by mounting it on the side, I will be able to save on lighter fluid buy driving around the block a couple of times a 25-30 MPH to create a draft and get the fire hot (idea guy™, remember?)
Dishwashing – Since my needs will be simple, I only need a small Tupperware container. I can get hot water from the radiator easily, since the heater core is blocked and the previous owner has plugged off the heater hoses. With a few feet of surplus garden hose I can have plenty of hot water for dishes and an occasional shower if need be.
Dish drying will follow along the lines of hibachi startup, but at higher speeds. I am still experimenting. 65 MPH seems to™ high (a plate was ejected on US 80 during the first test) but 25 MPH takes to™ long. I think maybe Watt Ave at 40 MPH would be about right.
I am hoping to get to Big Bob’s Used Carpet Emporium today to get some shag carpet (yeah baby!) to replace the 20 year old well-worn upholstery. I need it to look professional if I am to have a successful mobile consulting service. I plan to use the passenger’s seat as the reception area. Since the passenger’s seat has some spring sticking out, I am planning to remove it and instead pace the Blue Ball™ their™ to make it look more avant-garde. I don’t think it is legal to drive while sitting on a Blue Ball™ so I will have to conduct my consulting from a parked location.
Clothing/Personal effects storage seems to be problematic. Their™ I no concealed storage in the van, and I don’t want my clients to see my vast wardrobe. I was thinking about one of those roof mounted streamlined storage devises™ but they cost more than the van. Perhaps I can improvise™ something. Cardboard seems to™ flimsy, but one of my networked professionals™ has some leftover latex paint that is about the same as one of the colors on the van so it won’t look to™ mis-matched.
I am still having trouble with my new phone system so I can’t yet post any pictures. The minimum image file size is still way to™ large. Be patient.
If one of my professional sin my network™ has graphic art skills I could use it to make a handsome and professional graphic and lettering on the sides of the van. I want too™ come up with a bold logo, and paint it very large (to cover some of the rust) on the sides and hood. What about painting it in reverse on the hood so it is readable on the road, just like an ambulance.
I plan to park initially in neighborhoods that have been overbuild and where prices have run far to™ high (thanks for the marketing tip, Amy™!) for a few days to build some grass-roots marketing. I can also take some time out of my soon to be busy days to build a larger network with bird-dogging™ postal professionals™. Roger, my regular mailman has been a bitter disappointment. In nearly four months he has not yet brought a viable deal too™ the tabel™. I plan to have 35-50 postal professionals in my enhanced network™ by June 1. At that pace I should be able to bird dog™ between 2 and 89 deals a weak™.
I have to admit that I was overly optimistic in my apartment building venture. While I initially wanted $5,000 amonth™ in passive income, with my mobile web based consulting business, I think that between $1,000 and $1,500 should suit me well. Clearly it will take longer to establish my reputation as the leading mobile foreclosure consulting firm on the west coast, but the effort will be well directed. Long term I envision franchising the business model as I reach out to help those less fortunate than I. I feel blessed™ to have come up with this concept. I really did fall forward™. Stay tuned. I found some delicious organic maple cured free-range hormone free (modified vegan™?) bacon at the whole Earth Food Store that is normally $15.99 a pound for $11.99 a pound. I am going to treat myself for having made such an excellent negotiation on the van.
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